diet like a diva

3/28/10-
I want a mission incredible undercover convoy full-tilt chromosome cowboy x-ray search and destroy, smoke stack black top novocaine boy.

Went to see Dad again last weekend. Not doing so well. Down to 146lbs from about 210 within the past few months. He could barely talk, barely do anything. I've written how the trips go, this one wasn't too much different. I didn't cry as much.. I can't much anymore. Dad did give a speech telling us how he was sorry he didn't fulfill his duties as a good christian man and father. If he could do anything, he'd take care of better, make sure we all knew each other the way we should. Tears. Tears. Tears. Funeral talk? WHY! Goddamnit. God FUCKING damnit. I think this all may make me very bitter. I'm hoping no longterm repercussions. Inevitable.

Decorah's good. Well, roommates are good. Actually, great. I need a job though, I feel terribly useless and completely incompetent. I'm feeling the smallness of it all setting in and I'm getting scared. Summer summer, wait for summer, don't give up yet. It will all change when you actually have something to DO. (Besides have wonderfully drunk experiences.) With that said, I've had a few more. These beautiful wonderful creepers. I guess it's nice to drink for free, but with that, I do not think a D-sucking is in order. Or maybe that's where I'm wrong? Ha.

I feel nuts lately. Too much time and not enough structure. Not having a room and my own space makes me feel very very weird. Not complaining at all, just a fact. I can't even write correctly. I miss my bed.

I'm going through Leah's bag of discarded clothes and going for a walk to see my girl.