3/28/10-
I'm up in the woods, I'm down on my mind.
I was a quick, wet boy diving too deep for coins. all of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys. then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long, baby hair and stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere. have I found you flightless bird- jealous, weeping, or lost you? american mouth, big pill looming. now I'm a fat house cat, nursing my sore, blunt tongue, watching the warm, poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks. pissing on magazine photos, those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean blood of bhrist mountain stream. have I found you flightless bird?- grounded, bleeding, or lost you? american mouth, big pill stuck going down.
I've been by myself all day, thinking, feeling. I think I've spoken but two sentences.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
diet like a diva
3/28/10-
I want a mission incredible undercover convoy full-tilt chromosome cowboy x-ray search and destroy, smoke stack black top novocaine boy.
Went to see Dad again last weekend. Not doing so well. Down to 146lbs from about 210 within the past few months. He could barely talk, barely do anything. I've written how the trips go, this one wasn't too much different. I didn't cry as much.. I can't much anymore. Dad did give a speech telling us how he was sorry he didn't fulfill his duties as a good christian man and father. If he could do anything, he'd take care of better, make sure we all knew each other the way we should. Tears. Tears. Tears. Funeral talk? WHY! Goddamnit. God FUCKING damnit. I think this all may make me very bitter. I'm hoping no longterm repercussions. Inevitable.
Decorah's good. Well, roommates are good. Actually, great. I need a job though, I feel terribly useless and completely incompetent. I'm feeling the smallness of it all setting in and I'm getting scared. Summer summer, wait for summer, don't give up yet. It will all change when you actually have something to DO. (Besides have wonderfully drunk experiences.) With that said, I've had a few more. These beautiful wonderful creepers. I guess it's nice to drink for free, but with that, I do not think a D-sucking is in order. Or maybe that's where I'm wrong? Ha.
I feel nuts lately. Too much time and not enough structure. Not having a room and my own space makes me feel very very weird. Not complaining at all, just a fact. I can't even write correctly. I miss my bed.
I'm going through Leah's bag of discarded clothes and going for a walk to see my girl.
I want a mission incredible undercover convoy full-tilt chromosome cowboy x-ray search and destroy, smoke stack black top novocaine boy.
Went to see Dad again last weekend. Not doing so well. Down to 146lbs from about 210 within the past few months. He could barely talk, barely do anything. I've written how the trips go, this one wasn't too much different. I didn't cry as much.. I can't much anymore. Dad did give a speech telling us how he was sorry he didn't fulfill his duties as a good christian man and father. If he could do anything, he'd take care of better, make sure we all knew each other the way we should. Tears. Tears. Tears. Funeral talk? WHY! Goddamnit. God FUCKING damnit. I think this all may make me very bitter. I'm hoping no longterm repercussions. Inevitable.
Decorah's good. Well, roommates are good. Actually, great. I need a job though, I feel terribly useless and completely incompetent. I'm feeling the smallness of it all setting in and I'm getting scared. Summer summer, wait for summer, don't give up yet. It will all change when you actually have something to DO. (Besides have wonderfully drunk experiences.) With that said, I've had a few more. These beautiful wonderful creepers. I guess it's nice to drink for free, but with that, I do not think a D-sucking is in order. Or maybe that's where I'm wrong? Ha.
I feel nuts lately. Too much time and not enough structure. Not having a room and my own space makes me feel very very weird. Not complaining at all, just a fact. I can't even write correctly. I miss my bed.
I'm going through Leah's bag of discarded clothes and going for a walk to see my girl.
"oh my god, I swallowed a quarter last night."
3/17-18/10-
Julia Julia, Julia, oceanchild, calls me. So I sing a song of love, Julia, Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me. So I sing a song of love, Julia, her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering in the sun. Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me. So I sing a song of love. Julia, when I cannot sing my heart I can only speak my mind. Julia, Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me. So I sing a song of love. Julia hum hum hum...calls me. So I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
I wake up to my lovely roommates in lovely moods and a lovely sunny sky. Julia goes to work everyday at 2:00pm. I decided to paint a large peacock on her wardrobe out in the beautiful sun. I felt accomplished already.
5:00pm- Jared, Leah and I decide to drink by the river. Drinking by the river means hiking and climbing up a 47 degree hill. This sacred place was the drinking grounds for a bottle of shiraz, psychedelic shots of whiskey, and numerous inappropriate child kidnapping jokes. *Always keep the baby teeth.* I return home and proceed to drink more whiskey and half a bottle of ice cold white wine while getting ashlee, kacey, julia, leah and erin festive for the holiday. So much green eyeshadow and hairspray. Bowling anyone? Yes please! Bring the cup of wine? Yes please! There we meet up with more hooligans, already well on their way to slosh central. A vodka tonic and some cherry gin drink later Jase and I are heavily grinding to lady gaga. Wait, the whole fucking bowling alley was grinding to lady gaga. (Note: people in decorah do not grind to lady gaga.) Departure. Drunk already. Jase and I hand hold and talk six block's worth of anal sex story swapping. Why not.
11pm? Bar. The Haymarket's busy. Prime time for crime time. Julia and I end up in a very intense game of quarters. How is not sure at all. But this game was bumpin'. Ruffian men and women just chugging beer. (Not green. Sad.) Then there's this cold fish sitting across the table from me. He had a red shirt and a semi-mohawk thing going on. Do I know this man? No. Do I know his name? No. He starts staring at me. Not like "oh you're cute, you should ride me later.." but this deathly "I will not take my eyes off you until you're six feet under stare." But I'm wasted and it's fine. Then sporadically quarters are being thrown at me by this man.. darted directly at my tits. Remember the stare. What the FUCK?! You harassing creeptastic, I got completely hammered off your pitchers. So, thank you.
2am- bar close. Don't worry, a random Luther fiddle player is posted outside on the step ready. I've never seen such so much Irish jigging in all my life. If I never go actually see Riverdance, I'll be happy knowing I saw twentysome beautiful drunk people dancing their asses off. Wonderful.
2:30am- after bar? Wuqwp*#+@. That is the only explanation of what I remember pertaining to how we actually made the decision where to go and who to go with... which turned out to be Bobbo and some crazy folk. Bobbo, ohh Bobbo. Jack Nicholson with down syndrome and bad teeth. We hold hands the whole evening/walk to the after-bar. Do I know Bobbo? No, I've met him thrice times. But somehow it's completely ok because I am wasted? After-bar consists of more beer, Elvis talk, Julia on the floor pinching some boy all night, massive pot smoking and lots of giggling.
3, 4am?- home. tuna cheese helper. Julia and Bobbo start bickering about political activity and barking insults at each other. Calm down bumpkins. The rest is just blurry. Falling asleep, three little mice cuddling in the bean bags like dirty alcoholics. (Bean bugs.) I fall asleep to a Bobbo on my bosom while I romantically cupped his goofy melon of a head. Yeah, cupping. His head. Lord.
9, 10am- Jase, Leah and Jared all witnessed the beautiful sight throughout the morning hours of walking to the bathroom. When I awoke however, I was spooning a Julie. Fucking ridiculous. I would have paid some big money to have captured a picture of Bobbo the morning after. I'm still laughing. Grody bear.
11am- Julia and I lay back down only to realize recapturing the night (still feeling drunk) is way better than sleeping a day away. Next thing I know I'm rolling off the bed, I'm feeling like i'm going to vomit, I just cannot stop laughing. Jase and Erin find us in teary ruins. The laughter is taken outside. Sunshine, oh beautiful sunshine. Julia laughs so hard she pees on the deck. This is the reason why I came here.
St. Patty's day = success.
I love these people.
Julia Julia, Julia, oceanchild, calls me. So I sing a song of love, Julia, Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me. So I sing a song of love, Julia, her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering in the sun. Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me. So I sing a song of love. Julia, when I cannot sing my heart I can only speak my mind. Julia, Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me. So I sing a song of love. Julia hum hum hum...calls me. So I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
I wake up to my lovely roommates in lovely moods and a lovely sunny sky. Julia goes to work everyday at 2:00pm. I decided to paint a large peacock on her wardrobe out in the beautiful sun. I felt accomplished already.
5:00pm- Jared, Leah and I decide to drink by the river. Drinking by the river means hiking and climbing up a 47 degree hill. This sacred place was the drinking grounds for a bottle of shiraz, psychedelic shots of whiskey, and numerous inappropriate child kidnapping jokes. *Always keep the baby teeth.* I return home and proceed to drink more whiskey and half a bottle of ice cold white wine while getting ashlee, kacey, julia, leah and erin festive for the holiday. So much green eyeshadow and hairspray. Bowling anyone? Yes please! Bring the cup of wine? Yes please! There we meet up with more hooligans, already well on their way to slosh central. A vodka tonic and some cherry gin drink later Jase and I are heavily grinding to lady gaga. Wait, the whole fucking bowling alley was grinding to lady gaga. (Note: people in decorah do not grind to lady gaga.) Departure. Drunk already. Jase and I hand hold and talk six block's worth of anal sex story swapping. Why not.
11pm? Bar. The Haymarket's busy. Prime time for crime time. Julia and I end up in a very intense game of quarters. How is not sure at all. But this game was bumpin'. Ruffian men and women just chugging beer. (Not green. Sad.) Then there's this cold fish sitting across the table from me. He had a red shirt and a semi-mohawk thing going on. Do I know this man? No. Do I know his name? No. He starts staring at me. Not like "oh you're cute, you should ride me later.." but this deathly "I will not take my eyes off you until you're six feet under stare." But I'm wasted and it's fine. Then sporadically quarters are being thrown at me by this man.. darted directly at my tits. Remember the stare. What the FUCK?! You harassing creeptastic, I got completely hammered off your pitchers. So, thank you.
2am- bar close. Don't worry, a random Luther fiddle player is posted outside on the step ready. I've never seen such so much Irish jigging in all my life. If I never go actually see Riverdance, I'll be happy knowing I saw twentysome beautiful drunk people dancing their asses off. Wonderful.
2:30am- after bar? Wuqwp*#+@. That is the only explanation of what I remember pertaining to how we actually made the decision where to go and who to go with... which turned out to be Bobbo and some crazy folk. Bobbo, ohh Bobbo. Jack Nicholson with down syndrome and bad teeth. We hold hands the whole evening/walk to the after-bar. Do I know Bobbo? No, I've met him thrice times. But somehow it's completely ok because I am wasted? After-bar consists of more beer, Elvis talk, Julia on the floor pinching some boy all night, massive pot smoking and lots of giggling.
3, 4am?- home. tuna cheese helper. Julia and Bobbo start bickering about political activity and barking insults at each other. Calm down bumpkins. The rest is just blurry. Falling asleep, three little mice cuddling in the bean bags like dirty alcoholics. (Bean bugs.) I fall asleep to a Bobbo on my bosom while I romantically cupped his goofy melon of a head. Yeah, cupping. His head. Lord.
9, 10am- Jase, Leah and Jared all witnessed the beautiful sight throughout the morning hours of walking to the bathroom. When I awoke however, I was spooning a Julie. Fucking ridiculous. I would have paid some big money to have captured a picture of Bobbo the morning after. I'm still laughing. Grody bear.
11am- Julia and I lay back down only to realize recapturing the night (still feeling drunk) is way better than sleeping a day away. Next thing I know I'm rolling off the bed, I'm feeling like i'm going to vomit, I just cannot stop laughing. Jase and Erin find us in teary ruins. The laughter is taken outside. Sunshine, oh beautiful sunshine. Julia laughs so hard she pees on the deck. This is the reason why I came here.
St. Patty's day = success.
I love these people.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
mango fandango
3/13/10-
"steph, you've got a great pair of tits. you really do steph. you know that steph?"
I went home with a 35 year old computer science professor. He was short. He kissed rough and my face hurt from his beard after. We wrapped around each on a makeshift bed of blankets in an empty house on a wooden floor. Then I lost him. He was my first ginger.
"steph, you've got a great pair of tits. you really do steph. you know that steph?"
I went home with a 35 year old computer science professor. He was short. He kissed rough and my face hurt from his beard after. We wrapped around each on a makeshift bed of blankets in an empty house on a wooden floor. Then I lost him. He was my first ginger.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
sunken eyes, straight lips
3/2/10-
They wanted me to have a body.
1985
My Dearest Wife,
You have produced, dear, from our love, one of the most beautiful babies that I have ever seen. It seems to me an omen of good things to follow: our meeting, falling in love, marraige, our home and now our son. A perfect sublimity of events to further enhance our lives mutually.
How could anyone know that a more perfect match could not be made here on earth? If anyone would have told us a few years ago about this euphoric situation I don't believe either one would have for a moment given it a second thought, much less a its plausability. But now it has suddenly emerged in sharp focus; the focus of reality - the reality of our lives.
Your Loving Husband,
David L. Perry
1975
My name is in whispers around me. But yet those whispers are invisible, they're real. I look into the wind after I've heard it call my name, and long to bear wings and fly with it. I look down the road after my name is called from its signs. I want to be able to walk that road too. I long to push myself up the hill in the road. And even more, to run down the hill on the other side. I look into the face, the face that whispered my name. I look into that gentle face and hear that pleading voice in my hear. For a moment I am captive to its gentleness. For a moment my ears ring with the plea. But when? When can I bear wings? Now it is looked upon as a dream, as impossibility. When? When can i take the road I want, without first taking a detour? When? When can I open the door which separates our faces and be forever captive to its gentleness? There. I hear it again. My name, it's in whispers around me. - Susan K. Perry
They wanted me to have a body.
1985
My Dearest Wife,
You have produced, dear, from our love, one of the most beautiful babies that I have ever seen. It seems to me an omen of good things to follow: our meeting, falling in love, marraige, our home and now our son. A perfect sublimity of events to further enhance our lives mutually.
How could anyone know that a more perfect match could not be made here on earth? If anyone would have told us a few years ago about this euphoric situation I don't believe either one would have for a moment given it a second thought, much less a its plausability. But now it has suddenly emerged in sharp focus; the focus of reality - the reality of our lives.
Your Loving Husband,
David L. Perry
1975
My name is in whispers around me. But yet those whispers are invisible, they're real. I look into the wind after I've heard it call my name, and long to bear wings and fly with it. I look down the road after my name is called from its signs. I want to be able to walk that road too. I long to push myself up the hill in the road. And even more, to run down the hill on the other side. I look into the face, the face that whispered my name. I look into that gentle face and hear that pleading voice in my hear. For a moment I am captive to its gentleness. For a moment my ears ring with the plea. But when? When can I bear wings? Now it is looked upon as a dream, as impossibility. When? When can i take the road I want, without first taking a detour? When? When can I open the door which separates our faces and be forever captive to its gentleness? There. I hear it again. My name, it's in whispers around me. - Susan K. Perry
Monday, March 1, 2010
fragile as we lie
3/1/10-
What's God's name? I can't remember.
We were formed as puzzle pieces. The sky and clay mixed to make me. You didn't realize but this time you swallowed sunlight and made bones and hearts. Moonbeam children flee from your arms and the reality is you can't keep them. You'll live in the trees and drink my tears so I'll never have to taste them. Come to me in my dreams and hold my restless soul. When I wake you'll be laying next to me laughing in fields of grass.
I forever love you.
I forever love you.
I forever love you.
Forever please hold me.
What's God's name? I can't remember.
We were formed as puzzle pieces. The sky and clay mixed to make me. You didn't realize but this time you swallowed sunlight and made bones and hearts. Moonbeam children flee from your arms and the reality is you can't keep them. You'll live in the trees and drink my tears so I'll never have to taste them. Come to me in my dreams and hold my restless soul. When I wake you'll be laying next to me laughing in fields of grass.
I forever love you.
I forever love you.
I forever love you.
Forever please hold me.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
